One of the best things you can do for yourself is to find a healthy coping mechanism for when life knocks you the eff down and you don’t really feel like getting up. My favorite activity for a mood boost is organizing and decluttering. It’s a truly multifaceted activity! For one, the problem solving skills required to figure out how to optimally arrange your stuff takes you out of trying to solve your life problems. You will likely need to resolve your issues at some point, but ideally not at the peak of emotionality. Secondly, you can “reinvent” yourself. Whether that’s getting rid of old styles of clothing or merely moving your laundry hamper, it can get you out of your routine enough to feel like a new person. To shorten the rest of the long list I could make about the benefits of organizing, there’s also the feeling of being productive, the visual appeal, giving items away to a home that will make better use out of them, etc. Since nothing works for everyone or every time, here are some other healthy coping mechanisms to try: physical activity, sunshine/nature, reading, writing, gratitude, meditation, helping someone, confiding in someone, learning a new skill.
Why do I bring this up currently? Because this past weekend I was in the depths of devastation from a heartbreak. My main goal has always been to be in a life long relationship with my equal. Don’t get me wrong, I care about meeting the standard expectations of success, but I really want to be the world to someone who is my world. This summer, I thought I met my life partner, but unfortunately, he ended up having a different goal of moving across the globe for an undetermined amount of time. It feels wrong to have situational depression when you’re extremely privileged. However, I felt as though I’d checked off all of the boxes other than a partner, so if I wasn’t going to get that, couldn’t I receive my life diploma and make my exit?? I lost sight of any purpose to my life. Luckily, after a half hour or so of crying on the floor in front of my closet, lacking the motivation to even stand up, I finally got myself up and started organizing. Did I take an accidental nap half way through? Yup. But I got up again and finished and here’s what I accomplished:
I donated a full garbage bag of shoes that I no longer needed or wanted. I had moved these shoes from closet to closet for YEARS because I thought I should sell them rather than give them away since they were in like-new shape. I needed to come to terms with the fact that I was never going to spend hours listing a ton of shoes online to MAYBE get $10 each. I will admit to taking out five pairs that I thought I could get a worthwhile amount of money for. I vow to give myself a week to list these shoes and a month for someone to buy them until I donate them also! These days, I feel I have less time than money and getting rid of those shoes in one fell swoop was liberating! Lesson: Be honest about what you have the time, skill, and dedication for. Another Lesson: Relieve yourself of guilt, it’s very draining.
Get ready because I found this next one to be revolutionary! I reorganized my hanging clothes into two sections: work and non-work. Previously I had it by dresses and shirts each by warmest to coolest. I realized that if I split my wardrobe by work and non-work then in each scenario I would only have to look through half my closet for something to wear rather than wasting time on items that are not appropriate for where I was going. This may not apply to you directly if you wear very similar items for work and play. However, I challenge you to think about what different categories you can sort your clothes into to make it easier to search through them. Lesson: Get specific about what is inconvenient or unideal and get creative to fix it.
In Marie Kondo style, I went through all of my clothes category by category. What I made sure to do was put aside anything that I hadn’t worn in a while but thought I wanted to keep. Next I did something annoyingly terrible. I tried on ALL of those items. I will disclose that I did this the next day when I was feeling a bit better. Trying on these “maybe” clothes had two outcomes. Either I decided that I was ready to let them move on or I was reinvigorated in my liking for them. Attempt to remember which items you were on the fence about next time you go through your closet. If you still haven’t bothered to wear or think about them then let them go! Lesson: Go the extra mile for the extra benefit.
So there we have it, three ways that I overhauled my closet to cope with extreme sadness. I can’t say I’ve fully bounced back yet, but I do get a jolt of joy each time I look into my freshly organized closet. I hope this gives you some ideas for your closet or things you can do to help you through a tough time. Worst case, you’ll have some extra floor space to cry on! For anyone who may be experiencing a low: you are more worthy than you know, you have control over where you go from here, feelings are temporary, and even comedies have low points.